So, here we are. A lot has changed since the last time I set on writing something here. First of all, now I have my Bachelor's degree, and people address me as "dottore". Feels pretty nice, actually, but still haven't quite got the feel of it.
It is strange, really, how life brings about events one would never even consider at previous moments. There are heartbreaking moments, moments of joy and laughter, silly and important glimpses of one's important persons' characters, and they all somehow seem to shape a future. There seems indeed to be order in chaos, for such seemingly unrelated events have the power to shape and twist and change the character and resolve of a person.
You know how there are some people you trust more than anything in the world, and you think to yourself "oh I am so lucky to have met this person!", and you have a great time, and you laugh and do all that stuff people do when they like someone. I mean, not like "romantically", it could well be on a friend-like level. And please don't give me the crap about the "friendzone", you know that you deserve it as well as I do. Anyhow, back to my train of thought: it really sucks when you figure out a person you really appreciate turns out to be... well... not the person you like. And you kinda lose a part of yourself, coming to the realization that you've been admiring someone who doesn't exist. Makes you feel a fool.
Then again, there is another way to thing of it. Since we are not one-dimensional beings, we have multiple faces, and our character is also multidimensional. We only get angry with the people we don't like, and we're usually happy around people who make us comfortable. So, why the change? How could a person go from +8 to -10?
The thing is that people change. Same as we do, others change as well. And it shouldn't come as a surprise, really. It's what we all do. Well, there are a few exceptions, but those who choose to not change or to change only "a bit" usually find themselves... how to put it... left behind, perhaps. Then again, in a world of continuous change, the constant could be considered a different state, therefore change. But this is a conversation for another moment.
So, we are led to believe that a person we like, cherish and appreciate is bound to remain unchanged, forever in a state we want? Just speak it out loud, and hear how foolish it sounds. And still, we do expect this from others. Well, here is another thing: if we suppose that a person remains the same, does not change one bit, are we prepared to do the same? Can you really stay the same for the entire duration of your life, never experiencing new things, never craving for something different, something... more? Because this is the only way you will ever be able to enjoy the company of a never-changing friend. Like two pebbles lying on a beach, living through the same sunrises and sunsets, patiently bathing in the salty water of the ocean, fading away day after day, grain after grain.
So when you think about it, it is only natural that people get along until a given time, and then they split up, right? It's not so unusual, and after thinking about it for a bit, it doesn't even seem illogical. Even if it sucks so bad.
A question that comes to mind is, how do you deal with it? Do you dwell on it, do you just move on, do you try to patch things up, what? I don't know. I honestly don't, and I think most people don't. The one thing I can say for sure is that the part you lose, that little grain, is never coming back. You could say it's a shame, but I say it's worth it. It is a way of reminding oneself why something is missing from that spot, and it holds the memory alive, lecturing and keeping us in check. It also helps us shine more brightly, for no diamond is left unpolished - they all need to lose a tiny small part of themselves so that they can show the world their true magnificence in full.
There are always those few that come into our lives and bring it all upside down. It's really weird, and we then experience the full power of the known law of Physics: for every action, there is a reaction of equal measure. The more this person influences us, the more we fight it, like it's some kind of plague. Until we realize that it's nothing but the wave, gently polishing away the tiny small particles. And it's making us uncomfortable, for we can then see that something was misplaced. And this is when one is led to thoughts as the ones you are kindly reading in this very moment. And thus it is that one realizes that for one to remain in one's life, there has to be change, compatible change. It is no use fighting the wave, it will eventually break the pebble down. Why not make the most of it instead?
And after ranting for quite some time, the point has come for me to close this chapter. What lies ahead is new and foreign, mysterious and challenging and exciting. Whatever comes, it shall be welcomed, because everything is OK in the end. If it's not OK, then it's not the end.
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